Thursday, December 13, 2012

Anniversary 12/14/1992 - forever

Today I have been married to my husband one day short of 20 years.  Since I'm pretty sure neither of us have the money to file for divorce I can say with some certainty that we will make it to 20 years.
We met in the 1980's.  Ben Davis High School football team and Warren Central Football team were playing at the Hoosier Dome..... That may help clarify the date.  I was with my bestie, Sherry Jaynes. I saw a guy across the stands and I said I had to meet him.  When she said why I said because I was going to marry him.
Please note: True Story: This is public so there is no way I can lie and not get caught.

We went to where we thought he was sitting and he was gone.  Sherry said lets forget it there's a lot of people here and you won't find him.  If you know me or anything about me that simply means, "bets on."  We went out of the stands to the common area and there he was on the pay phone.  Does anyone see my halo becoming a hula hoop right about now???
I went to the guy and said, "What is your name, Well it doesn't really matter because I need you to hang up the phone we are going to get married!"  Yep true story.
He hesitated.  Oopp there goes my halo again.  I hung up the phone.  The young, I'm sure stunningly beautiful, girl on the phone was just hung up on by a ghettooooooo white girl, half of my head shaved straight out of, well you get the picture.
He looked at me and when his eyes met mine his frown turned to shock then a smile.  To me in that moment I HONESTLY feel like God was showing me a light at the end of the long dark tunnel that I was only about 1/2 way down.  There are other blogs about what my life looked like from my eyes as a child and young teen.  I was in deep.  But I won't rehash that now.  We hung out.  Please understand this guy, my future husband, for real, was the most polite gentle spirited person I have ever met.  I was, well, bad.  At the end of this blog when I post to facebook I will tag some people who will read and hopefully attest to what I am saying about myself.
Gene and I met various places and hung out.  We talked on the phone and wrote letters.  After a while we only saw one another a few times a year for several years.  He went off to college and I finished high school living with various people and working 2 jobs. I skipped school one day just to hang out and was very violently attacked.  I went to school the next day where my boyfriend at the time found out about where I hung out and hit me several times knocking me out in the hall way at Ben Davis High School.
A lot of my 'friends' saw this as my fault and left my side.  I ended up graduating from an alternative school in our township and my boyfriend at the time who was an all state wrestler was expelled.  His wrestling career over, high school career over, scholarships lost etc. Jason wherever you are I am terribly sorry.  Not because I skipped school that day but because I didn't have any common sense and it got us both in a world of trouble.
After that day I decided I was ready to settle my life down.  I needed a respite and I needed it fast.  I did the only thing I knew to do.  I called that guy that was stability to me.  He welcomed me with half open arms.  He was willing for me to come and visit him at college and even to hang out with his friends but he had a girl friend.  It wasn't long before the visits became more frequent, the other girlfriend went away and we became serious.  We decided that we would both go into the National Guard and if when we got back from training we were still in love we would marry.
We were married 12-14-1992
Robbie Jaynes & Stacy Mills stood up for us at our wedding.  Our mother's attended along with some of the friends we had met from our church family where we were attending and became married.
We have had our ups and downs.  Gene went directly into the 'full time Army' and was stationed in El Paso, Texas.  We soon found out we were having a little boy and we were ready to start our life as a couple, alone, in Texas.
It is strange sitting here writing this thinking of all we have been through.  There isn't anything that we have been through that I would not openly discuss.  I am very transparent and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt  our past is why were are where we are.
We had A LOT of people who thought we would fail.  We moved a lot at first, lived in poverty for a lot of our life.  And most recent and most crushing, we lost our first born son. The stats were against us, still are and always have been.  We have lived our married life as Christians.  We are an interracial couple married in 1992, had a child with a disability, a child born with multiple medical needs, etc.  We fought hard for everything we have and we will continue to do so.  Any number of the things mentioned above make our chances of staying married 0-none.  We give all the glory to God.
Gene is a little less open about difficulties that we have endured.  He is still a gentle spirit.  I am willing to openly discuss anything anyone would like to.  Please comment and at least let me know you read this blog.  If anyone, especially any of the teens, have any questions feel free to contact me.
Our journey is only briefly described above we have fought issues with health, addiction, etc.  No marriage is easy.  If it is, then it isn't right and won't make it.
As I said I would, I will list some names and then tag them.  These people can attest to my 'abruptness' even as a young teen. I was 13 when Gene and I met, he was 16.

Robbie & Stacy Jaynes, Sherry Parsons, Steve Yockey, Dyna Graham...  Anyone else who would like to add your name feel free.

Will edit as needed.  Suggestions accepted.  :) love you all.