GIFTS

G.I.F.T.S.

Great

There are a few gifts that are far greater than any others during the past 6 months of the intense rawness of grief. I want to address these first.

Of course it is wonderful to have people around the first few days. What people do not understand is the first few days a grieving person in numb. They, generally speaking have no idea who is around and who isn't. Of course there are those few people that make large impacts I do not want to discredit them. (Grandparents who assist with funeral planning, sister who made picture boards, those who assisted with the programs, people who donated so that the funeral could happen etc.)

My real point is that the most important is those people who stay around. Not that we need a house full of people all of the time, but we do need people who continue to check on us even after 6 months.

Another gift that made a great impact is the people who prayed and continue to pray for us. I often tell people, I know the only reason we get up out of bed each day is because there are people continuing to pray.

Inspired

Several gifts that have been given have had deep meaning. There are things that have happened over the past several months that have not been discussed with people other than close family and intimate friends. No one has facebook-ed, instagram-ed or blogged about these things so there is really no way someone miles and hours away would know. I know that not everyone has the same spiritual beliefs but there is no way that anyone could have given such meaningful gifts without divine intervention.

God had to have directly spoken to or nudged these two women and they had to have listened and acted.

The first picture is of a visual prayer board. I am going to give a brief reworded explanation from the person who created it. It is a prayer in canvas. In the background is Revelation 21:4. She then said, "I do not even pretend to know what you all are going through. But please know you are loved and thought about."

The significance of this is deep for me. There is a song that played on the way to the funeral home. It is by Phillips, Craig & Dean and called When the Stars Burn Down

When the stars burn down and the earth wears out 
And we stand before the throne
With the witnesses who have gone before
We will rise and all applaud

When the hands of time wind fully down
And the earth is rolled up like a scroll
The trumpets will call and the world will fall
To its knees as we all go home

Star of the morning,
Light of salvation Majesty
God of all mysteries
Lord of the universe
Righteous King

There will come a day standing face to face
In a moment, we will be like Him
He will wipe our eyes dry
take us up to His side
And forever we will be His
Singing blessing and honor
Glory and power
Forever to our God

I had never heard this song before but it hit me like a ton of bricks. To me it said, "Dana, you will see him again." I have listened to this song frequently since that day in March. If you notice the bold part of the Lyrics and compare it to the verse referenced on the prayer canvas you will note it is the says, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

All I could do is send my friend a message and tell her thank you for listening to God. He knew what I needed to hear right then.
How else besides her being INSPIRED by God could she have ever known. WOW This was an amazing thing to be a part of. Also note on the prayer canvas the dove and the admission tickets.



The next inspired gift just came today, six months after the funeral. So we are at the anniversary day of the funeral and I receive a package in the mail from a friend who lives several hours away. She would have no way of knowing that I needed to refocus on the fact that I can still see Corey in the faces and actions of my other children.

Also, Corey is buried in the Field of Valor next to the Eternal Flame. I am not completely sure if this friend would have known that. I know she drove hours to come to the funeral, but where he was actually buried was not mentioned at the funeral.
In the note attached she said that while she was out she saw this and thought of me. I have to believe that she thought of me immediately because she was listening to God he pierced her heart for me.




Friends

As I stated above, friendships have been a very big part of our healing. There have been a couple of friends who come to my house or we do something outside of the house every week. There are people who call or text each of us weekly just to check in. I get messages on facebook and by text etc. These have been wonderful gifts, especially after the months have passed and all of the rush of people, food and donations are gone. 

We are also absolutely gratefully for Corey's friends who have continued to keep in touch. They message us. They also continue to post on his facebook page. This is super helpful for us. This shows us that he did have true friends and had made an impact on the lives of others. 

The picture above is a gift that came from one of the friends who has continued contact with me. This was a very special gift because Corey loved animals. As a young child he wanted to be a wildlife biologist. As he grew up and became more self aware, he decided to study mortuary science. He still enjoyed animals his entire life.

 Another friend who makes weekly visits to me has encouraged me to work on my creativity. She brought materials to me so I can work on crafts while I'm healing, which has been healing in a number of ways.  I have made rugs, blankets, paintings and drawings.  

Treats

Early on in the grieving process I received a box that contained this gift.  First of all, I LOVE bamboo. Secondly Corey loved watching wind chimes when he was little.  As he got a little older and began having more sensory issues the noise of the chimes would really upset him.  Even if we were in a store and he could hear them across the store he would have a panic attack.
He would have loved this bamboo one because it doesn't have the high pitch chime of the glass ones.  I am excited to have it hanging in the corner with all of my plants from the funeral.

I love all of my plants from the funeral.  They brighten up the room and I really enjoy caring for them.  I have not been extremely successful but I am learning and they are growing (for the most part).  I appreciated all of the planters we received at the funeral.  It made the service all the more beautiful.


Special

These, along with several other gifts have meant the world to us.  On Easter we had some friends over for dinner and then we all put this pond in our back yard in memory of Corey.  We planted all of the Lillies around it.  A friend brought over a light that lit up at night.  It was beautiful and brought us much peace to sit and enjoy the sound of the water from the fountain etc. We had various gifts delivered that meant a lot to us.  We received a prayer blanket, stones with sayings on them, and a large Hersey Chocolate bar.  (that was for me)

   

The best gifts of all were and continue to be the friendships and love we have seen from the people around us.  We have several very committed friends and a super supportive church family.  We can't say enough to show our appreciation.  

Philippians 1:3   

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you