Who is this God people are talking about?

Names and some details are changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent.  I want this story out there for people to read and gain understanding but I do not want to fully disclose certain details.

I know of a  young lady who lived a pretty rough childhood and really struggled with who God was and what part He was suppose to play.  One thing that was very clear to her is He was not the God everyone else said He was, not in her life anyway.  We are going to call her Sam.

Sam was the first born to her parents who had been married for several years.  In early childhood she witnessed domestic violence between her mother and father. One day he stuffed her mom into the dryer.  There were some times when her parents were not arguing but she usually had to be in another room during these times because they had friends over.  

The house always had a  very funny smelling smoke filling the rooms and loud music playing when their friends were over.  Sam was not allowed to tell any of her grandparents about these parties. One time she ran into the room because a noise outside scared her and found a bunch of pills on the table that everyone sat around. 

She was taken to her bedroom and given a spanking and told not to come into the room again.  She cried herself to sleep that night not because she was spanked but because she was hurt and angry.  

This type of situation went on for several years.  Until one day after an extremely loud night Sam's parents asked her to come downstairs.  She was told that she was going to stay with her grandparents for a week and while she was gone her dad would be moving out.  When they asked her how she felt, she said she was a little sad and a little happy all at the same time.  When her mom asked her why she was a little happy she said, "Because daddy won't hit you any more." Her mother began to cry and picked her up and held her for a while..  

Sam was all packed and ready to go to her grandparents house, she loved it there.  Her grandmother took her shopping during the day and her grandfather would hold her in his lap and they would watch sports and eat ice cream together at night.  While she was at her grandparents house she would hear the Bible being read and old gospel music playing all of the time.  Then on Sundays her and her grandparents would get all dressed up after breakfast and go to church.  After church they always went to a restaurant and had a big lunch then home to watch sports.  

Her grandpa always told her she was beautiful and she could be anything she wanted to be.  She spent a lot of time at her grandparents house over the years.

Soon both Sam's mother and father remarried.  Sam's mother never had any additional children it was her and her younger brother John.  Her father and step mother had 2 additional children.  Sam felt very depressed during this time in her life.  She felt like she didn't belong anywhere.  Her mother and step father had a lot of secrets she was not allowed to discuss.  Her father and step mother had their 2 children and it seemed as if they did not really have room for her and her brother in their lives.

When Sam and her brother would visit their dad their clothes always smelled smokey so the kids at her dad's church would make fun of them.  At least when she went to her grandparent's house they would wash her clothes or buy new ones so she wasn't embarrassed going to church in smokey clothing.

During this time in Sam's life she would watch her mother get beat up at least 1 time per week.  She would get the backlash of anger from the arguments.  She felt as though love was about physical abuse, or tolerating it anyway.  Then she would go to her dad's house and see a very loving and overly physical couple.  She felt as though she had no where she belonged.

There were times when the abuse would get to a point where she would need to be removed from her mother's care.  During those times she was usually placed with her counselor from school.  There were 2 times when she was placed in a residential facility. One of these times was after she spent two weeks in jail because she stabbed her step dad in the back with a small kitchen knife for severely beating her mom.  

Sam began babysitting at 11 and working at 13.  Adolescence was a very difficult time for Sam.  She didn't feel like she fit in anywhere and she was angry young.  She was being abused by people who "loved" her.  She was told she had to keep secrets that a young teen should never have to hold onto.  Sam had been in abusive relationships of her own by this time.  Some times she was the victim other times she was the abuser.  

Sam had been sexually active with over 80 young men some consensual and others not.  One time she skipped school and went to visit a friend.  He had friends waiting until she arrived.  Her friend made her whatever each of his friends wanted.  After a hospital exam at lease 7 different DNA strands were found.  She had changed schools multiple times and had learned way too much about manipulating the world to just get by.

There were people in her life that would say things about how God could help.  She would hear stories about God making things better.  People would say they just trusted God and then things changed.
Many times Sam tried with her all to do as these people said.  She would read her Bible and give her all to God.  Nothing would change, in fact, sometimes things would get far worse.  

The doctors tried medications, social workers tried counselling and other home placements, nothing worked.  Sam would feel such desperation that she would consider killing herself.  She rarely laughed or displayed any emotion at all.  It felt dangerous to be too open, vulnerable.

In the work I have done I have heard many many stories like this and have lived through one myself.  I do not feel like I am at liberty to disclose my full story due to people who would not be able to accept their part in it, yet are still a part of my life in some fashion or another.
My point of sharing this story above is that my story mirrors this in many ways.  Even as an adult I have struggled with people who tell me to just trust God or have faith and things will be fine, depression and anxiety will disappear.
I was listening to our local Christian radio station this week and they were having a pledge drive.  A lady called in and was saying how this station lead her back to Christ and her entire life has changed now.
These stories seem crazy to me.  As someone who has sold out to Christianity, yet still has problems, is still haunted by my past and has never experienced this entire life change. I get angry!  Where is this God?  Who are you talking about?  Why hasn't He saved me from pain and rejection?  Why haven't I been cured from depression?  Why do people close to me have to struggle with addictions?  Where is real life in all of this?
It all seems too sugar coated and false. I think Christians, presenting the Gospel in this way are setting people up for failure.  I fear that people who only hear this part of the story will loose faith when a major trauma comes.  
My husband and I lost our oldest son this year.  I have met several others who have also lost children. There are some that blame God. There are some who are Christians and chose to have the funeral services at their church now they can not walk into a church building.  These type of situations along with many others happen frequently.  How many people give up on God?  It is easy to blame Him and or just loose faith all together.
My point in sharing all of this is to say that it is not always an outer life changing situation that comes with the decision to follow Christ.  It is a heart change.  We can not pretend that just because we wholeheartedly make a decision to become a Christian that our circumstances are going to change.  It is a disservice for us to present the information in a way that a non Christian may get the idea that their circumstances are going to change in any way.  God does perform miracles but not everyone receives them.  He can change circumstances but it is not always in His will.
The devastating part is when we realize that even though we believe we still have freedom of choice as does everyone else.  We, even as God fearing Christians, still have to face consequences of not only our decisions but the decisions of others.  As with the story above, the rippling affects of others choices can be long lasting for victims. I am not trying to discredit healing in the name of Jesus.  I am trying to discredit the fact that it does not happen the same way for everyone.
Our family experienced a life spinning, world turning upside down trauma that no one should ever have to face.  It was hard to not blame God at first.  Could he have changed the circumstances, yes, but he didn't.  Now we will forever face the consequences of others actions in the devastating situation. If I chose to believe that God predestined every step for every person, at this point in my life I would choose to not follow Christ of be a believer of any "higher power."  Because I have learned that our salvation is predestined but not our every step then I can have faith knowing that even though I sin and sometimes cause others pain or they sin and cause me pain I can still have the promise of salvation.
One thing that is a blessing in all of the turmoil is that God does command His people to be his hands and feet.  He wants us to flesh out his love, mercy, patience, kindness, grace etc so that all will know he does care.
I found this song that really speaks to how I feel about this topic.  Sometimes God chooses to calm the storm but sometimes he calms his child.  In my family's life right now it feels like he is trying the approach of calming the child (children) although we desperately wish he would calm the storm.  Then again he may be calming the storm because it really could be so much worse even in the moment it doesn't always feel that way.
Be Blessed and Be a Blessing.