March 29, 2012

Note to the reader: I wrote this to help me process. The details continue to swim in my mind daily.  I know that it is very raw.  I could not even go back to proof read it due to the content but I wanted to get it out there.  I will edit more later and /or take suggestions.  Feel free to comment but do keep in mind Corey was 19 years of age.  We worked with him intently until he refused our help around 18 years of age.  This occurred 7 days after his 19th birthday.

We woke the morning of the 29th saying Happy 18th Birthday to our middle son CJ.  Little did we know at the time that this would be the day our world would turn upside down.

On March 28th Corey had left in a huff.  He was in a different mood that day and had said several things that were disheartening to me.  That morning he asked me if I thought he was going to go to hell for the things he had done wrong.  I had told him that when he was younger he had asked Jesus into his heart.  So even though as an adult there had seemed to be some struggles with mental health issues, I did not think that God would send him to hell.  I explained that I thought that since he had made a decision for Christ before his mental health issues had started, God would honor that and bring him to heaven and he would be made new, as it says in the Bible.

Another thing he said that day was that he felt God calling him away from home.  He felt like he was suppose to begin walking. Corey said that he may end up dying but that he was ok with that because he knew God wanted him to walk.  Shortly after this conversation Corey became very angry.  He said, "Mom, I'm going to leave now. I may never see you again but pray for me every day.  And mom, I love you very much."  Then he picked up a back pack and began walking.
I called the police.  I was in shock at what had just happened.  I looked up and down the street and could not see Corey at all.  My heart was breaking.

When the police arrived they searched the area and could not find Corey.  I explained that if they happened to locate him, please take him to the hospital and call me immediately.  The police said they would do this for me.

Since Corey had went to college the semester before I knew that he was aware of the streets and being alone.  He did struggle with some developmental delays and mental health issues and may participate in things that were inappropriate for the sake of gaining "friends."  He did however know survival techniques, so when he didn't come home that evening we said a prayer for him, left the door unlocked and went to bed.

The next morning (the 29th) when I woke up I turned on the news, there was a report about a man in Greenwood who had been shot in the leg through a door because he had been attempting to get into people's homes in the middle of the night assuming they were his own, the identity of this victim (or suspect) was already known.  The next report was about a fatal accident that had occurred in Greenfield around 6:30am.  The reporter said, "Stay tuned, after the commercial break we are going to release a picture of the victim, he had not been identified.  If you have any information on the victims identity please call....." I turned off the television and said, "One of those stories were going to be Corey one day." (Side note: thank God I had turned off the television during the commercial break)

Getting out of bed and going downstairs I began to get concerned noticing he had not returned.  By 10am I was having a lot of anxiety.  My mom came over and asked if I would like to go run errands with her.  I said I would, just to get out of the house and get my mind off of my fears. My mom and I were having casual conversation until we were pulling out of the car dealership and I said to her, "Mom, I do not think Corey's mind will be out of constant turmoil until he is in heaven." This was around 11am on March 29th.

Our next stop was the BMV.  By this time I was very nervous and anxious.  I began to have that feeling like my insides were shaking and I could crawl out of my skin. After sitting in the BMV for several minutes I walked outside.  A dear friend called me and said she was off work that day and asked if we could go out to lunch.  She wanted to pick me up at my house around 1pm because she had a Superman birthday cake to drop off for CJ.  While on the phone with her I received a call from a private number. I normally do not answer these calls because a lot of times it is someone who wants to sell something or collect something.

As I answered the phone the gentleman on the other end said, "Is this Dana Whitten?" I said, "Yes." He said "This is Detective XYZ from Hancock County.  I need to speak to you in person as soon as possible when will you be home?"  I explained that I was at the BMV with my mother and did not have any idea when I would be returning home. He then asked for the address of the BMV and said he would meet me in the parking lot.

I went inside and explained this to my mom so she did not come out and see me surrounded by police and freak out.  (I had no idea what the detective wanted.)  I then called my friend back, explained we probably wouldn't be doing lunch but I would call her back. We hung up.  I called her back immediately and said I realized what I had just told her and what that might have meant because I hadn't ever been visited by a detective before.  My stomach was in knots and I was shaking uncontrollably by the time the detective arrived.

The Sedan pulled into the parking lot with tented windows and two men in suits approached me.  Detective XYZ introduced himself again and asked me questions to insure my identity.
His questions:
Are you Dana Whitten? Do you live at 123 ABCDEFG?  Do you have a son named Corey Eugene Whitten? Is his birth date March 21, 1993? Are you here alone?  At this point my knees buckled.
The detective said, "I'm sorry I have to inform you your son was involved in a fatal accident this morning at 6:30am on US 40 in Greenfield, IN. His remains are being held at........."  

At this point in the conversation my phone rang.  It was Gene.  He was on lunch break and driving to a restaurant.  I told him I was with a detective and I needed the detective to talk with him.  The detective asked Gene to pull off to the side of the road and then he told him what he had just told me.  Soon after my mom came out of the BMV and the detective explained the same to her.  At that point one detective took my mom's keys and drove us back to our house.

The detective gave me all of the contact information that we would need over the next few days.  He said something to me as he was leaving, "Mrs Whitten, I want you to keep one thing in the back of your mind for later. God may have just saved Corey from something far worse. Call if you need anything."

Gene was on his way to pick up the kids from school and headed home.  When I called the school I explained what was happening and they retrieved each of the children and had them in a dean's office waiting so that Gene could tell them the news and then bring them home.  They had staff supports set up around the room for each child and Gene.  (thank you Ben Davis High School staff)

In the mean time I called my step father and asked him to meet us at my house ASAP.  By the time we arrived he was there and so was my dear friend I had been on the phone with earlier.  She said she knew it couldn't be good and knew I would need her there.  The amazing thing is once Gene got there with the kids there were enough adults to hold everyone. By 2pm we had a house full of people.  The support we felt was overwhelming 

We called close family members and friends and got the ball rolling for information to be released.  We hesitated to do this too quickly because of how quickly information travels.  An example of this is by that evening there were several calls saying they had heard that one of the other kids died.  (information era)

The next few days were very difficult.
It has been 6 months now and we are still in a fog of denial most days.  It is the hardest journey I will ever face, I am certain of that.  Thank you to all that have supported us and continue to do so.  We could not have done it without you and we still have a lot of work to go through.